menda

Wish I knew what's my purpose What would make me feel fullfiled  When will I find sth I'm good at A day passing after day Months passing years passing I can feel I'm running out of time A distraction after distraction Untill the thoughts finnaly catch up They poison my mind These claws are ripping me apart They find beautiful places in my heart Just to turn them into hollow Full of memories that burn me from inside I try to feel I try to express But I'm not able to  Kurwa mać gdzie są słowa jakieś jakaś wena czy chuj wie jedyne co czuje to złość i zmęczenie i nawet nie wiem co takie nic a więc idę jebnąć snusa na zdrowie 

The summer of 2023 When I could feel my insides rotting  My brain screaming that the only escape would be death Thoughts terryfying so much I felt hopeless Working my ass off at a shitty restaurant just to  not think And then You came My sweet, sweet man Talked with me in the car after my countless shifts under the stars till 3 am Only God knows how many cigarettes we smoked sharing about life Taking me on roadtrips to "the end of the world" It was now appropriate since You weren't my boss anymore And when I told You I loved You U were so suprised even though I've been looking at You with puppy eyes this whole time U asked if it bothers me You're 34 years old Honey, daddy issues runs in my family I got them from my mom And "Be my daddy" by Lana Del Rey is my favorite song since 2019 Sweetheart, I've never met a man like You No one ever loved me like You do  You saved me, Artur  https://open.spotify.com/track/1zalD0QAhRZcCv0c0UPCcy?si=66b3a3f25f964c73

 These moments when I can really feel at peace don't last long I wish I could capture them and relieve whenever I feel the void calling But I'm here again u know In this room in this city so full of sad people and shades of gray  In this city I don't have anyone I just want to go back home  A diviner told me today that I would not stay here  That he will give me a ring that we will have three kids And at this moment I felt so happy I could die I really need him to stay forever He's all I have he saved my soul I won't survive if he'll ever leave Man, I miss my cat I'm really glad I picked up writing again Even if what I write is shit :) https://open.spotify.com/track/1v1oIWf2Xgh54kIWuKsDf6?si=7fa1f10b739d42c3